Copio y pego de un e-mail que he recibido de mi amiga Esther… ahora haré busqueda por la red para ver si tengo que referenciar a alguien por este glorioso texto… o si por el contrario sale de alguna fuente fiable y es que los guiris están así de agilipollaos… xD
“Por lo visto, en el extranjero -especialmente en UK- creen que los españoles tenemos un lenguaje, digamos rudo.
Una multinacional británica no está satisfecha con el lenguaje que utilizan algunos de sus empleados aquí in Spain. Se han enterado de la frecuencia de los tacos en las conversaciones de la empresa y esto les ha llevado a emprender una cruzada de limpieza lingüística. Para ello, Mr. Adamson, que es el responsable del Área de Comunicación Interna, ha enviado “a la plantilla española” un decálogo en contra del uso del lenguaje impropio.
Dice así:
FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage
It’s been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language.
Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group’s policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself.
Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the following rules:
1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as “ese guiri de mierda”.
2. Words like “coño”, “hostia”, and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is.
3. You will not say “la ha cagao” when someone makes a mistake, or “la esta cagando” if you see somebody being reprimanded, or “¡que cagada!” when major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb “cagar” are inappropriate in our environment.
4. No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration Chief, will be referred to, under any circumstances, as “el hijo de la gran puta”, or “el muy cabron” or even “el comemierda”.
5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to “falta de huevos” or “mariconería” nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever referred to “capullo” or “acojonado”
6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as “pajas mentales” in particular when they stem from your manager.
7. You will not say “como me jode” if a person is persistent, or “esta jodido” or “se lo van a follar” if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words “que jodienda” should not be used.
8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say “vete a tomar por culo”, nor should you ever substitute the most educated “may I help you?” with “¿que coño quieres ahora?”
9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as we are going through a difficult time should be used rather than “esto esta jodido” or “nos van a follar a todos”. Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say so and do not say “que putada” or any expressions composed with the root “puta”.
10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as “subida de mierda”.
11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say “me voy a limpiar el culo con ella” or “me la paso por el forro de los cojones”. Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.”
Y es que, personalmente, no se que esperan cuando son ellos los primeros que están con la palabra “fuck” el 90% del tiempo en la boca… allá ellos… con lo bonito que es un…
“TOOOOOOOOOONTOPOLLASSSSSSS que se me llena la boca de O´s al decirlo… TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONTOPOLLAS!”
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